16 December 2013

My UC is doing really well.  I am a little worse because I ran out of Probiotic last week and now everything upsets my stomach but it isn't so bad and I can do things and I only poop once per week.

4 December 2013

I don't know why people in China are looking at my blog.  Maybe it's an accident and they click on a link that sends them here.  It is nice and semi-exciting, but there's no reason for it that I can see as I don't speak Chinese and I don't know anyone Chinese.  Maybe a lot of people in China have UC.  By a lot, I mean, three people lately and a couple before that.  Maybe by law of averages this is normal.

My ulcers are doing quite well.  I am very impressed actually.  I can sleep all night and I only have vague occasional issues... all cured with Melaleuca vitamins, and supplements from the health food store.  Yay!

14 November 2013

I am feeling much much better.  The vitamins and supplements are certainly working.  I was able to stop eating long enough to give my colon a rest as well.  I usually don't blog if I am feeling fine, so I've been feeling much better lately.

7 November 2013

So last night around 11 p.m. until 3 a.m. I was freezing.  My teeth were chattering for three hours.  I tried to have a warm bath and that didn't work.  I went in the living room upstairs and turned on the fireplace and covered up with four quilts.  After about four hours I was finally warm.  It was actually painful.  I don't know why I was so cold.  My joints were blue in my hands.  My knuckles were blue and my knees.  I have to google it to see if this is a side affect of Ulcerative Colitis.  I crapped a huge amount out into the toilet.  I had to keep getting up to crap.  I didn't eat all day today because I had a headache and also I was nauseous thinking of eating and I feel somewhat better.

6 November 2013

I was going fine for a couple of days.  Perhaps I went a little too crazy.  Maybe it's because I skipped supplements and vitamins this morning, anyway, RACED to the toilet at around 8:15 and filled 1/2 the bowl with runny crap.  Still no blood though, so that's great.  How much crap can a body hold anyway?  I don't even know why I need to do the cleansing part of the colonoscopy since I'm totally cleaned out anyway!

4 November 2013

Still doing quite well.  Still liquid poop and some stomach issues, but generally, almost normal!  Just taking vitamins and supplements and it's working far better than any medication.  Can't believe it!

4 November 2013

I was got to sleep  until 3 a.m., but after that I got to sleep until 7, so that is pretty good.  I guess I can't expect repercussions from eating two normal meals in a row so early on in the recuperating stage or the leaving flare stage. Generally, I'm far far better than I was a week ago.  I'm still taking my vitamins and supplements.

3 November 2013

Still not normal, but pretty close!! I think this might be as good as I can expect really.  I can't believe I am so much better than I was.  I get to sleep at night for a good solid six hours.

2 November 2013

I was almost a normal person today!  Wow.  Incredible.  I went from "pretty sure I'm going to die" to "Almost normal" in the span of a couple of days.  I am pretty happy.

1 November 2013

Wow, I have been faithfully taking my supplements and vitamins and I am much better.  I slept for six hours straight last night and I could easily have slept more, but I had to work and get Jacqueline to school.  It has made a HUGE difference taking my vitamins and supplements.  Poop is still not normal, and I have stomach issues, but I ate a normal dinner tonight and last night and I am still doing well.  I have drastically reduced the amount of times I am using the washroom.  Tonight it will probably be an issue because I ate dinner, but I may be able to sleep during the night after midnight like I was able to last night.  This is pretty exciting.  I can't forget to take them though.  I tend to think I'll be all right without taking them after I start feeling better and then I stop taking them and then I get really ill and I have to start all over again.

30 October 2013

So, I've done OK today.  Felt like I was going to need the washroom all day, but it was pretty tame since all I ate all day was a bit of raspberries and blueberries.  Less than a cup.  It's almost 6:00 p.m. now though and I ate some fried up hamburger with bar-b-que sauce.  That should cause some problems.  I don't want problems, but I've got to eat and cook dinner for my family, and it smelled SO GOOD when I was cooking it, I wanted to taste it.

I got my hair done today.  The hairdresser said I was very very VERY skinny.  She would be too if she had Severe Ulcerative Colitis, I'm sure.  Unless, of course, she took the medication.  I would guess she would be slightly pudgy then.  Prednisone is a crazy drug.  The side-affects are frightening.  Hair loss, joint pain, bleeding of the stomach, thin, fragile skin, osteoporosis, diabetes, Cushing's Syndrome, Low Amount of Calcium in the Blood, Dry Skin, High Blood Sugar, Puffy Face from Water Retention and there's more.  I take it anyway if I get bad enough to be admitted to the hospital. 

29 October 2013

I was feeling brave today as I had a pretty good night night before, so I ate breakfast and a snack before work.  I figured since I got the blood under control, I would naturally get better and be able to handle food.  So my entire work period I had episodes where I thought I'd crap myself.  I even said "I have to go to the washroom" because the urgency was so powerful, and then I didn't have to go as I was walking towards the toilet.

When I arrived home after work at 8:00 p.m. after I ate pot-stickers for dinner, which was dumb, I loaded the toilet bowl with what felt like everything I put in my mouth both solid and liquid over the past two days.  It happened about four times.  Everything was turned to liquid in my digestive system and evacuated at the end of the day.  I don't even know if any nutrients were absorbed in my body, because it doesn't seem like there were as everything seems to have landed in the soup of the toilet bowl I made.  I've been pooping all night and it is now almost two a.m.  I haven't slept yet and I have to wake up at 7 a.m. and get my daughter off to school and wake up my other daughter so she can do her school.  Then I have to go to work.  So, I would imagine eating breakfast tomorrow would be a horrible error on my part.  I just feel so much stronger when I can eat something during the day.  Otherwise at work I feel like every effort is a tremendous one and sometimes I feel like I might start crying from fatigue.  My body ached horribly all night tonight.  I just drank a small glass of grape juice and my tummy is rumbling from that which means I'll be having another trip to the washroom in the near future, which means, why bother going to sleep at all?

So, if no one reads these blogs ever, that's fine.  I do feel better being able to say how I feel and document what it is like to have UC so the doctors can figure it out.

That's another thing.  The doctors seem pretty dumb when it comes to UC.  I know they know much more about the body than I do, and I know they know more than I'll probably every care to find out about the digestive system and everything, but they are so dense in that they think they are so right about their opinion when a great deal of the time they are wrong and causing damage to people by giving them stupid advice because they think they know everything.  They don't know MY body.  They know what they studied and they maybe know other peoples' bodies.  One "expert" told me to eat apple sauce, which is POISON to my body.  Now this advice would be fine and I wouldn't care if it were my mom, my brother, my Aunt, my friend who told me, but because it was from a doctor I'm under some kind of obligation to listen, which makes it a threatening situation, especially if I'm in the hospital.  That's a total nightmare.  "Well, you better listen to me, you're just crazy if you don't." You try to tell them, and they just don't give a crap, like you haven't even spoken, and if you actually insist on your own opinion, you're off-balance and nuts.  When it is actually the doctor who is wrong.  Those are scary situations.  Twice in the hospital I was hooked up to the wrong IV bag.  I am the one who alerted the nursing staff as to the error.  It wasn't life-threatening, just a lot of sugar was being pumped into my body to fatten me up.  I don't know what the other bag was hanging from my IV pole, but it was the wrong one as well.  The only good doctors I found were at Mayo Clinic.  I felt I could trust them and I felt like they really listened to me.  Unless I'm facing certain death, I'm never going to a doctor again unless it is a Mayo Clinic doctor who specializes in Gastroenterology.

25 October 2013

Wow, my stomach is better.  I thought it would never happen and that I'd have to go to the hospital eventually, but I held out, and last week I stopped the bleeding and now my situation with having to go to the washroom so often after I eat is actually lessening. It is still bad, but I can actually get food in me now!  Woo hoo!

24 October 2013

So after waking up every hour or two last night all night until around 6 a.m., I had to wake up at 7 a.m. to get Jacqueline ready for school.  She's my daughter in grade 1.  I was so tired.  Jacqueline refused to get ready, so we both just went back to bed and woke up again at 8 a.m. I got her up and got her ready for school despite protest from her.  It was picture day and she informed me when she returned that day from school that she didn't miss pictures - thanks goodness!

So I didn't eat anything all day until noon.  I had these turkey wrap pieces and three pieces of candy.  Now, at 4:33 p.m. I am starting to have pain in my chest and I am starting trips to the bathroom.  If I don't eat anything the rest of the day I may be able to sleep all night tonight - I hope.  I'm so glad I have a place to complain.  This way, anyone who doesn't want to know about this, doesn't have to read it!!  Plus, I get a chance to vent how I feel about what is bothering me.  I can also document it.



I was just looking online for famous people with ulcerative colitis.  Out of ten, two people had their colon removed, one died of colon cancer, a couple are doing fine on drugs.  John Kennedy had colitis and when they did the autopsy on him when he died they found that he was on a lot of drugs for back pain (unrelated?) and also drugs to control his ulcerative colitis.  I can't remember the rest of the details.

I have been able to stop the blood in the past week purely by taking the supplements and vitamins.  I hope this is a good sign and I will get better.

23 October 2013

I would really appreciate a break from the pain.   It is constant and never-ending and I am always aching and exhausted.  I return from work and crash.  I do get up to do what I must, but every second I can, I try to lie down.  I am so tired of being tired.  I never sleep more than two hours at a time because I have to get up to go to the washroom constantly.  Sometimes I have to get up to go to the washroom after I went five minutes ago.  I am so bone tired.

At work I won a good write-up for doing a fabulous job and always moving and working hard.  I usually don't work longer than a five-hour shift though.  Sometimes I work 7.5, but mostly it's five hour shifts.

I started crying when I got the write up because I thought I was in trouble.  I was crying with relief that it was good.  I have tried very hard in jobs before and gotten in a lot of trouble, yet I was trying very very hard.  I thought this might be the same situation.  Thankfully and mercifully, a great customer boosted my efforts by saying I did a great job packing their food.  Woo de hoo hoo!

I ache as I write this though.  I'm going to try my best not to eat tomorrow and Friday and maybe I'll be able to sleep through the night and be good for work, besides being weak from lack of food, for Saturday.

21 October 2013

My stomach is hurting.  I ate today anyway, but my stomach is responding to anything I put in my mouth including water.  Juice hurts, water hurts, food hurts.  Anything.

20 October 2013

I feel like I'm dying.  128 lbs now.  My stomach hurts all the time.  I ate something for the first time in two days.  Chicken pot pie (a really great one from Costco) and a slice of strawberry cheesecake. I've gone to the washroom many times in the past two hours since I ate.  Bloody runny brown soup is what it looks like most of the time now.  I thought I'd lose it at work and not make it to the washroom.  I never went to the washroom while I've been at work except for a couple of times. So it hasn't affected my work yet. I'm pretty sure I'll have to see the doctor soon.  I can't control how much weight I lose.

18 October 2013

So, my stomach is still quite bad.  I went shopping today, not meaning to, but my 16-year-old wanted me to take her and her friend to the mall.  I brought my 6-year-old as I had nowhere else for her to go and I like taking her with me.  I tried on a size six pants thinking they would be way too tight and there was a sale, and I have no pants that fit me other than jeans and sweats.  So the size six was HUGE on me and I didn't even bother trying on the size 8 that I brought into the dressing room because of this.  I held my pants up and ran out on the floor to get a smaller size.  The smallest size next to six was zero.  Trying anyway I took them into the dressing room since they were a good sale and I thought I would try anyway.  They fit perfectly.  Wow, size zero fits me! That's frightening.  I got a couple of medium shirts that were too big, but the arms were long enough.  Any shorter and my sleeves would be too short, so I had to go with medium.  My stomach is doing OK today, but that's because I barely ate yesterday and I had a couple of spoonfuls of rice today and that's it.  My stomach still hurts anyway though even though I didn't eat almost at all.  It would be far worse if I ate though.  At least I can do things and not just hang around the toilet.

15 October 2013 Late late Evening

My stomach hurt very badly at work to the point where I was thinking I might not be able to work.  I didn't go to the washroom my entire shift for five whole hours (amazing) but that could be due to the fact that I didn't eat most of the day before and barely drank and didn't eat or drink anything today.  I had a dinner appointment with a friend from university at Granite City for six o'clock.  She doesn't understand Ulcerative Colitis at all. I felt horrible not eating in front of her at this restaurant.  Our waiter was not good, but he was very friendly, so at least that was nice.  Anyway, so I ordered french onion soup and an asparagus pasta dish.  I also had a hot chocolate and water.  I ate the whole french onion soup, minus the onions.  It was a very small bowl and a rip-off.  $4 something for exactly one measured cup of broth with cheese and croutons on it.  I ate HALF the dinner, which is very dangerous in my condition.  So so far, the repercussions are not too devastating, but the night isn't over yet.  We'll see what happens.

This is what I ate: 

Grilled Chicken and Asparagus Linguini

Chicken, prosciutto, garlic, asparagus, sun-dried tomatoes, oregano, onions, fennel, linguini, basil and pine nuts.

Totally jumped off the deep end on this one! Like I'm asking to die or something.  I was thinking nutrition when I ordered it and ignoring the fact that I was going to try not to have gluten, because I'm pretty sure fettuccini has gluten in it. I just wanted to be normal and not make my friend uncomfortable.  I didn't feel hungry at all, nor did I particularly enjoy eating anything.  My sense of hunger dies when I'm this sick, on top of that, I know it will hurt terribly later on.

15 October 2013

I am in a lot of pain all the time.  My desire to eat and drink is completely gone and anything I try to put into me because I know I should eat and drink turns to liquid and comes out my rear end.  I lost two more pounds.  Usually I'm 155 - 160 and I'm 5'10.  Over the course of the last two years I've dropped to 135 - 140 and now I am at 131.  I absolutely detest going to the doctor like I would imagine a person would detest prison.  It's horrible.  Except they torture you at the hospital and in prison they don't.  Although, I wouldn't know thus far about prison for sure, but I think I've heard enough to have it be pretty accurate.

If I get to 115, I'll go into the doctor and take their horrible medications.  I'll also go into the doctor if I get toxic mega-colon or if my temperature reaches too high or anything along those lines.  I have to go to dinner tonight with my friend from University and who I worked with at a Pharmaceutical research company.  So much for things going well, because drinking anything will be torture let alone eating.  She's surely going to think I'm anorexic, but if I cave in and eat I could end up in the hospital at this point and I don't want to cancel because of this as I do need some kind of life.

14 October 2013

I think hospitalization is coming soon if I don't get this UC under control.  Ate nothing all day and barely drank anything and I didn't feel a desire to eat anything.  I worked for five hours physical labor, then came home and had two glasses of juice and tomato soup with rice in it.  That soup and juice landed me on the toilet with terrible cramps. All day without food or drink and my stomach still hurt so much I could barely work.  I lost two pounds in the last couple of days, but I'm still healthy.  I wish I could just be OK without worrying about my stomach and ulcers and crapping.

Got this off the internet:

13 October 2013

Body aches are better today.  Just very tired.  My body still aches.

Hemorrhoids are at their worst today from crapping so much the past couple of days.  Had church today.  It was really great.  I love church.  I love the people there as as well and learning.  This photo is from Maplewood State Park last year I think, or the year before. I think...  Can't remember.

12 October 2013

Feel horrible today.  My butt hurts so much from crapping so much.  I feel like I crapped my body weight.  I barely ate anything so it must be crap from a couple of days.  My body is also aching TERRIBLY all over.  I wish I could cry to just let it all out, but it doesn't hurt enough to cry.  Just an unyielding ache that never ends.  I just want to sleep all the time and I am so exhausted.  I bought all the supplements I ran out of and I'm starting to take them again.  I just fantasize about sleeping all day.

I got a good job even though I was hesitant to apply since I would just have to quit anyway, but I don't know if I can do it sometimes.  It is pretty good pay and I'll just increase in pay as time goes by if I can handle it.  It is pretty physical, which normally I would appreciate rather than sitting at a desk all day.  Sitting at a desk is fine if you can get up whenever you choose, but sitting at a desk for hours and not being able to get up because you have so much work to do is not OK.  Moving all the time though is exhausting when your body aches anyway.  I thought I might cry at work, but I didn't.  Tough as nails I am :).

11 October 2013

Body is falling apart.  I started feeling well and didn't go out and buy new supplements when I ran out and my entire body is falling apart now.  It's driving me crazy.  I actually crapped my pants at work, but luckily blood came out instead of crap.  Luckily I was wearing a pad as it was the ending of my period, so I was covered.  Everyone keeps asking me why I didn't just go to the washroom.  The issue is, the urgency is so immediate there is no time to go to the washroom.

7 September 2013

I had a kale, cucumber, banana, almond smoothie today and it didn't hurt my stomach.  It looks like something I would puke up just from the smell, but it wasn't actually that disgusting.  It tastes OK.  It still looks revolting though... something like this:



I thought I wouldn't be able to drink it, and if I could drink it, I would puke it.  It all stayed down though, and my ulcers are fine.  No affect actually.  I am eating Redmond's Clay as well though. That must help. I'm petty sure it helps anyway.  I am pretty excited to get vitamins and minerals into me.

I weigh 134 lbs now, but I don't look very thin.  I mean, I look thin, but not skeletal.  So I guess I can take it.  I'm pretty happy about it.  Fat or thin, I need to make sure proper nutrients are in my body.

This link looks great to me for trying it out.  Mine is just semi-ok:

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7956/5-delicious-green-smoothies-for-beginners.html

3 September 2013

Feeling much better overall.  I am still battling quite a lot of blood, however, I have my good days.  I am permanently dizzy now and I now weigh 134 lbs, but I still feel I can control the UC if I am careful.  It is very irritating sometimes dealing with going to the washroom constantly, but worth it not to have to have my colon removed or take drugs.

30 July 2013

I'm doing much much better.  It's almost like I'm a normal person.  This is why I haven't blogged in a long time.  Whenever I'm feeling well I don't blog because I have no complaints :) I'm off to bring my daughter to Royal Winnipeg Ballet next week.  We are also going to see Mary Poppins while we are there.  We are leaving on the 3rd in the morning and returning on the 19th.  The Rainbow Stage Mary Poppins show is on the 9th.  We're hoping to get tickets for then anyway.  The Royal Winnipeg Ballet students are going that night as well, so it would be good if my Aunt can get tickets for that same night.  I'm bringing my daughter Jacqueline and Jordan is staying behind because he must earn money for College which he is going to have to start soon.  He's going to take a Computer Programming degree.  Hopefully he can get a job in that area of work.  I am looking for a job as well.  I didn't want to apply for one when I was very ill.  Who wants to hire someone who needs to spend about eight hours a day on the toilet? It would be dishonest gaining employment and not letting my employer know that.

20 June 2013

Got all brave because I was feeling well and ate a black bean vegan burger at dinner last night.  Mistake.  Way too much fiber.  I was up all  night and still am visiting the toilet.  No blood though, so that's good so I am definitely doing better.

19 June 2013

Things are not perfect, but doing much better.  The better I do, the less I feel the desire to blog.  I like complaining when I'm miserable, and I am way less miserable than I used to be.

18 June 2013

I am getting better for sure.  I was not at all exhausted today.  I worked hard all day and I also had no feeling of having to race to the washroom.  I didn't poop all day as well and when I did go, I only peed and there was no blood at all.  Oh no, I did poop this morning a little cat-looking poop, but it was formed and everything!  Probiotics, Melaluca vitamins, astaxanthine, spirunella, chlorella,  and l-glutamine worked!!

16 June 2013

I have been eating more with less repercussion.  I have had my friend visit from Canada and my Aunt and Uncle visit from Canada and always when you have friends you have food.  I ate and although it made me feel a bit sick, I was able to do it and I didn't spend all evening on the toilet.  I am definitely better, but not totally better.  I am also not exhausted all the time.  Woo hoo!  I healed myself without the doctor! Or I am well on my way to healing myself without the doctor.

13 June 2013

Stomach was good all day.  Amazing.  I must be getting better.  I didn't eat today until around 6:00 p.m., but usually even if I don't eat I feel kind of bad.  I kept busy all day cleaning the garage.  I'm having a garage sale tomorrow and Saturday.

I got all careless and ate a full dinner of hamburger with four different peppers and purple onion and different colored potatoes.  My stomach is rumbling now.

12 June 2013

The cough medicine I am taking really helps with bodyaches.  It's supposed to, but I think I had them from a bad cough, but I also have them from UC, so it's difficult to tell what I have body aches from exactly.  The cough medicine works to ease the pain though, so I enjoy taking the medicine.

My digestive system is the same in terms of not doing so well.  There's blood in the toilet, but I think there may be less than usual.  I think the probiotic and L-glutamine could be working very slowly.

It's the end of the day.  I had an avacado steak with pepper jack cheese 6" sub from Subway at lunch.  I had a few other little things to eat as well, but that was the main thing.  I was on the toilet this evening regretting ever eating.  I HAD to have pooped out more than came in.

I saw less blood though.

11 June 2013

I had a little round of solid poop yesterday!  A lot of blood as well, but at least there was some solid going on!  A lot of diarrhea as well, but that little solid ball was a good sign I think.  That was after I entered my blog for the day late at night.

I'll write how my day went later.  It's only 10:35 a.m. right now.

10 June 2013

So I woke up this morning extremely sore.  I called my friend and (we had a date for me to clean her house as we're helping each other clean) she said I could be there by 9:30 a.m. So I worked at her house helping her clean until 3 p.m.  I came home, bought groceries, and then sat for a bit with my littlest daughter.  She was with me all day but I didn't pay attention to her as I was helping clean while she played with my friend's children.  At around 6 p.m. I started re-grouting my downstairs.  There's 1000 square feet of tile down there.  I got a huge portion of it done and so in total, I am about half done now.  I did about 1/7th of it a while ago.  It is such difficult work.  So, I didn't think I could get out of bed, and ended up working extremely hard all day.  Yay!  I feel a little better as well.  I have a bad cough though right in my chest.  It hurts.

The toilet was full of blood, but I went less often while I was working.  I ate chicken salad and some cheese sticks today.

8 June 2013

Went to a rodeo today.  I didn't think I could make it as my body ached so badly.  My face feels hot as well.  I went to the rodeo anyway for 7 hours.  We went out to dinner and I ate at 6 p.m. for the first time all day.  I had 1/2 a portion of spaghetti and a piece of garlic cheese toast.  A slice.  I thought it would do me in, since I didn't eat all day and I was doing really poorly, but I was OK.  I didn't have to use the toilet the whole 7 hours! I was, however, FREEZING cold.  My lips turned blue and I had a sweater on and the temperature said 73 degrees Fahrenheit.  My body ached so badly I thought I'd have to get David to carry me to the van.  It was horrible.  It was nice being with my family though and I got to see everything without a washroom break.

My daughter the cowboy lover with her newest cowboy hat:

                             
                                         Cowboy getting bucked off:

                                          My daughter who moved down in front for a better look:

7 June 2013

I now weigh 139 lbs.  Not too much different than normal.  I had an omelette for dinner with four different colors of peppers in it, some mushrooms and onion fried up.  My daughter cried it was so disgusting to her, but she doesn't eat healthy and I'm trying to get her to.  She's six.  My 16-year-old does eat fairly healthily.  That's basically all I ate today besides one of those Japanese drinks (bilbo tea or something like that).  I'm totally full.  So weird.  So far my stomach is ok.  It was having a really hard time all day which is why I barely ate anything.  I used the toilet about ten times before ten a.m. I used it multiple times during the day as well.

6 June 2013

So, I didn't eat all day and I still had quite a few issues. I finally ate at 5:00 p.m. (some sweet potato fires).  It was OK.  Now, I'll see what happens.  My stomach hurt before this, now we'll see what happens, but I had to eat.

5 June 2013

I read an article yesterday that said that people with a chronic condition can get depressed and that it is essential that I exercise every day to combat that depression.  I can see how I would get depressed with Ulcerative Colitis.  I can't leave the house for very long periods of time.  Going shopping for groceries is not fun.  I think I do, essentially, make myself do things.  I went to my grandmother's funeral last weekend which was a four-hour drive away in Selkirk, Manitoba.  I go shopping if I must, but I do not exercise every day like I was doing before.  The last time I tried, my friend had to drive me home and during the ride home I thought I was going to crap myself in her car.  That was the last time I attempted to work out.  That was a month ago.  I guess I should get the guts up and try it again though.  This is my goal for the next couple of weeks, to work out every day.

                                        

4 June 2013

So, stomach was bad all morning.  Didn't eat at all until noon.  Had leftover Shepherd's pie.  I feel very full when I eat a full serving of something.  I wish I could go without eating for a couple of days to give my body a break.  I helped a friend clean her house this morning and then she's going to help me Thursday.  I am super tired now.  I don't want to do anything but sleep.  The toilet is full of blood every time I use it.  I poop about 40 times a day or more.

It is now 9:20 p.m.  I haven't eaten anything since lunch and I probably won't eat anything until tomorrow.  I don't feel hungry, so it is no issue as far as starving is concerned.  I weigh 140lbs anyway, which is quite a bit.  I'm 5'9 3/4.  I tried to do things this evening, but I had to use the toilet too much.  I don't feel comfortable leaving the washroom for very long.  Every time I move my stomach feels like I'm forcing my large intestine lining to detach from the wall of my stomach.

3 June 2013

So, after eating at Buffalo Wild Wings with my family, I felt a little ill, but it wasn't too bad.  I had a brat burger.  It tasted delicious and I had french fries with it.  Afterwards I mowed 1/2 the lawn (my son mowed the other half) and I pulled all the dandelions in the lawn. I also planted some carrots, peas and flowers (Morning Glories) with the help of my daughter Jacqueline.  Here's our demolished lunch:

Freshly mowed lawn with flowers:

Lilac plants.  They smell beautiful along with the fresh cut grass:

                                 

                                          Lilacs again:

                                          Peas, carrots and pumpkin planted along with some Morning Glories:

Right in the middle of  mowing the lawn and pulling dandelions I had to drive my 16-year-old daughter to ballet.  After I got to ballet, I had to go to the toilet so bad I thought I would go in my pants... but I didn't.  All I could think of when I was driving the van was "Please don't crap!! How do I clean this up afterwards? We have cloth seats!" It was very frightening.  I used a public washroom and saw that I evacuated the shepherd's pie I ate for dinner yesterday.  Corn totally undigested.  Blood was in the mix.

It is now 10:40 p.m. at night.  The above paragraphs were written during the day.  I have emergency diarrhea.  As soon as I move too much I have to race to the washroom as there seems to be no time between the feeling of needing to go to the washroom and it happening.  The toilet is full of blood each time.

3 June 2013

Now we are going out to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings for my son's Grade twelve graduation yesterday. Of course, this is a delemma for me as eating anything will have a bad affect.  I do have to eat something eventually anyway though.  I just recovered from yesterday's Shepherd's pie and slept all day, all night, and most of the morning.  I don't want to waste this day as well.  I have a lot to do.  There's blood always leaking a little from my rear end now.

2 June 2013

I cannot find my supplements and vitamins! I didn't eat all day but had some Shepherd's pie with the family after my son's graduation, so I made it through the graduation, but now I've been on the 'ole toilet since eating the Shepherd's pie at 5 p.m.  I don't have anything to stop or control or treat the diarrhea and blood.  I better find the stuff.  I am also exhausted.  I'll have to look again tomorrow.  I'm certain I'll find them somewhere.  I went to Winnipeg yesterday so I had them packed in a plastic bag all in one spot (one of those zip-lock ones).

I did figure out how to get photos on here so I don't have to keep downloading them from the internet.

Above is me and my son and my six-year-old daughter under his arm at his graduation today from grade twelve.  This is why I couldn't eat all day.  I had to be there for his graduation, not the toilet.  I am so happy he graduated.  I don't know what he's pointing at.  I can't remember what was going on.

2 June 2013

Can't eat today.  My son is graduating at 1:30 p.m. and I need to be there, not in the toilet.

1 June 2013

So, so tired.  Slept all night last night outside of a couple of washroom breaks, slept most of the day and now, at 11:16 p.m., I am so tired my bones ache and I feel like I might start crying.  Apparently, fatigue is a symptom of Ulcerative Colitis.  My fingers ache elbows, legs, everything.

Not me, pic from internet... as soon as I can figure out my phone camera, I'll post real photos:

1 June 2013 Afternoon

I just ate out at a Chinese restaurant because my family wanted to go and I wanted to go with them and I looked stupid if I didn't eat, so I ate a regular meal and went up and got seconds.  My stomach started bubbling while I was still at the restaurant.  I don't understand how it could since it must take a while for the food to reach your colon, but my colon was screaming before we left the restaurant.  I'm tired now.  Body aching.  I only went to the washroom twice though since I returned from the restaurant at 3:00 p.m.  It's an hour later.

1 June 2013

I didn't eat almost at all yesterday and my diarrhea was awful.  On the way home in the car from Winnipeg, Manitoba I stopped at Subway to eat because my children were starving.  I ordered a 1/2" sub (bacon, egg and cheese).  I ate 3/4 of it but had to stop as the egg was frozen.  Disgusting.  I ate the part before I stopped anyway frozen and all.  It had green peppers on it, southwest sauce and onions.  I know that's crazy considering the circumstances, but that was all I had to eat all day. I would have thought the repercussions from eating a sandwich like that would have been far worse than what they were.  I wasn't on the toilet that much considering how much I was on the toilet not having anything in my stomach.  Oh wait, I had the salt and vinegar chips that went with the sandwich and water.

Yeah, so it wasn't too bad.  I only had to use the washroom about four times between 7:30 p.m. before I went to sleep that night and 11:00 p.m. before I went to bed.  I did make it the two hour drive from where I stopped without having to pull over.  I did have to use the washroom during the night a couple of times and in the morning, but considering the food, it wasn't that bad.

30 May 2013

Hoping to control myself eating so that I can go to the whole funeral tomorrow without using the toilet.  I am going to give a reading, so I don't want to have to back out of it because of toilet issues.  I would also not feel good about leaving in the middle of a funeral t use the toilet.

30 May 2013

Still suffering.  It's difficult to eat without my stomach hurting.  It is very difficult to figure out what to eat.  I'm slowly getting better at figuring out what to eat.  Mostly, I guess I can eat small amounts of potatoes and rice and that's it.  I can drink this special shake I get for $4.75 at Teaberry.  It does upset my colon, but I can handle it.  I am faithfully taking the probiotics, L-glutamine, vitamins, astazanthine, spirunilla and chlorella.  I need to take the vitamins and supplements twice a day and sometimes I only take it once per day.

I had my daughter at ballet yesterday and I was on the toilet right in the middle of vacating tones of diarrhea and blood.  The office opens up right into the main busy area of the lobby.  She opened the door so I had to jump off the toilet right in the middle of everything and slam the door shut.  I guess the lock isn't working on the door.  When I returned to the toilet I had to clean up with toilet paper all the grossness.  It was choking disgusting.  I had to talk to my my daughter through the door telling her to stay out there and I'll just be a moment.  I was frantically trying to clean up.  The ballet instructor had sent her to me to change her into her new costume she had just received.  The purpose was to see if it fit.  My daughter was yelling through the door to me that the ballet instructor had asked us to hurry and I was frantically trying to hurry.

This is what it is like to live with Ulcerative Colitis.  Anyway, she got her outfit on and I made the place acceptable to look at, however, the washroom needs to be thoroughly cleaned.  My daughter did her practice-run for the show with her outfit on and I got to see it.

This is not my daughter's tutu, just using it as an image.  I googled it.

24 May 2013

So I was pretty good all morning.  I took my probiotic, then after a bit I took my l-glutamine, then I had an egg-white mcbreakfast thing at mcdonald's and a hot chocolate and my husband wanted to go there.  At around 3:30 I had a bubble tea.  It's made with lychee jellies, yogurt, cucumber, honey dew melon and avacado and it's a drink.  You can get the pearls with it as in the photo, but I like the lychee jellies better. I had two bags of Famous Amos cookies and that's what I ate today.

My colon is rearing up in alarm at what I ate and freaking out.  The toilet has been my constant companion since around 6:00 p.m.  It is bubbling and moving and peeing dark brown out my bum. I also had my vitamins, chlorella, astaxanthin, spirunilla... I think I'm forgetting something, but that's what I can remember.

I was exhausted at around 1:00 p.m.  I felt like crying I was so tired.  I tried to sleep, but people wouldn't let me!!

23 May 2013

I ate nothing all day so far but had my probiotic in the morning.  I'm going to eat now.  I regrouted some of our kitchen tile all morning.  My stomach was fine.  Maybe it is safe to get a job now.

I'm exhausted physically, but that is normal considering how difficult regrouting tile is.  Ugh, I have so much to do yet.  I had an episode when I first woke up as usual, but that's OK.  The rest of the morning was fine.  Hopefully I can handle some food.

Not my photo, took it from the internet, but this is what it looked like.  What a horrible job this is.  I worked for two days and I only have 1/4 of the floor done.  It's 1000 square feet.  Getting the grout out is easier than getting it in.  I really wish I could pay someone else to do it now.  I am stuck though.  Have to finish what I started.

22 May 2013

I have been trying to re-grout my tile floor.  All I did was the landing at the foot of my stairs and I am completely and totally exhausted.  Re-carpeting my stairs was much easier than re-grouting.  I discovered I really dislike grouting.

My colon has been really bad today.  I didn't eat until about 1 p.m. and from the time I woke up until 1 p.m. my stomach kept burning (colon).  I would get attacks even though there was nothing in my stomach.  I was feeling hungry so at around one I ate and then at around 6 p.m. I had to use the washroom.  I pee'd out my rear end.  It was such a large amount I can't believe I'm not dehydrated.  I certainly didn't take in as much liquid as left my body.  There's no way.  I didn't notice blood today though.

I ate about a cup of fried mushrooms in butter, taro root and sweet potato chips small bowl full, and some Famous Amos cookies.  I also had stuffed red pepper.  That's it all day.  I should have eaten nothing, but I was hungry.  I'll try again tomorrow.

I just get so incredibly grouchy without eating.  As long as I can eat a little bit, I'm OK.

22 May 2013

I felt pretty good today.  Ate a couple of bags of Famous Amos cookies and I shouldn't have.  Ate a small stuffed red pepper (stuffed with hamburger).  Drank ginger ale and herbal peppermint tea with honey.  I was pretty good all day.  I felt almost normal.  Had the probiotic first in the morning on an empty stomach and then had the L-glutamine at around 11:30 a.m.  I only used the toilet about 9 times today, maybe 15 counting this evening.  I thought I was doing so well with not being completely exhausted all the time and being able to get food in and pooping way less than usual.  Usually in the past month it has been at least 30x per day I'm pooping.  Anyway, I just went to the washroom now at midnight and there is blood and a huge clump of it was in the toilet.

By huge I mean the size of a quarter or maybe a loonie.  There was liquid blood as well.  I'll try really hard not to eat for two days. I keep saying that, but it is so difficult not to.  I did go for 9 1/2 hours yesterday without using the toilet and my body wasn't in too much pain yesterday.  I re-carpeted my stairs just me and my son.  Pretty energetic I'd say.  So maybe I am still getting better, just had a scary issue today and I'll continue on my road to more healthy.

21 May 2013

I don't want to get too excited, but I ate a stuffed red pepper (hamburger, onions and salt and pepper were the stuffing) and meat is especially bad for me, but it smelled soooooooooooooo good.  I also had cheese and something else I can't remember, but my reaction is relatively good!  I carpeted the stairs (amazing in itself since I could only lay in bed pretty much for quite a while) and the whole time it took to carpet the stairs (about 3:30 - now 1:02 a.m., so nine and a half hours) I used the washroom only once!!  I have one more landing stair to carpet but I have to get more carpet.  But wow.  I think it is amazing that I could get this done.  The thing I changed is taking L-glutamine and 50 billion count probiotic.  I had probiotics in my Melaleuca vitamins, but not enough I guess.

I really think I am improving.  It is still too early to tell.  I may just be having a good day and have to be hospitalized tomorrow or something, but usually if I'm feeling this good, I'm going to get better as long as I don't make a habit of eating things like stuffed red peppers.  It seems crazy for me to eat that now.  I live with a daughter who cooks, and she asked me to please try it and I ate the whole thing.  It was only one helping.  It did hurt my stomach later but for me to be able to do the stairs like I did is tremendous!

Copied picture from google images... I don't know how to get my photos off my phone :(  But this is what the stuffed red peppers looked like sort of:





I wish I had before/after photos of my stairs!

18 May 2013

I'm trying a probiotic and L-glutamine to see if that gives me any relief, along with the rest of my vitamins and supplements.  This was my second day trying it.  So far, it seems to have made my ulcerative colitis WORSE.  That's terribly upsetting.  The probiotic was $32 for the bottle.  Disheartening.  It better work.  I've read on IHaveUC.com that it works wonders for a lot of people.  I really want this flare to get under control before next month.

17May 2013

Ate some lunch (small bowl of rice) and a bubo tea (spelled wrong) and two small bags Famous Amos cookies. On the toilet now. Third time pooping since lunch.

17 May 2013

I had a small portion of Shepherd's pie at around 6:30 p.m. and Famous Amos Cookies (2 bags).  I was up about four or five times during the night on the toilet and it hurt my stomach.  I have eaten nothing since.  It is 9:30 a.m. in the morning.  I just had my iron supplement.  It is a liquid packet.  I'll wait until just before lunch to have my vitamins and supplements.  My stomach is burning but I think if I continue not to eat today I may be OK.  David wants me to go to lunch with him.  I'll have a Teaberry drink (yogurt and crushed up avacado, cucumber and mango.  Maybe I'll have some white rice at the lunch.  Maybe I won't eat anything.  I start feeling better when I haven't eaten for a long time.  Then I get bold and think I can eat.

16 May 2013

Raging burning in the stomach because at lunch I ate.  I thought I would puke it hurt so much.  It's 12:15 a.m.  Tomorrow I will not eat so that I can sleep through the night.  I will try as hard as I can not to eat.  I want some peace.  Logging this in the blog spot as I don't want people to read it unless they seek it out.  Who wants to know about stuff like this? Not many people I'm thinking, so writing it here is good for me.  I haven't actually puked from UC yet.  This third flare since being diagnosed (third flare in my life) I have felt nausea for the first time.  I read about it but I thought it didn't apply to me.  Now I know it does.  Interesting how each of the three flare episodes has been somewhat different.  I feel better now so I'm going off the lap top and toilet and into bed.  We'll see how long it lasts.  I am using the toilet about 45 times a day; all after I eat.  I use it about 15 times in the morning when I wake up and if I eat lunch I use it all evening and night until around 2:00 a.m.  I get a break from about ten a.m. to one p.m. if I don't eat anything when I wake up.  My plan tomorrow is to not eat at all and sleep when I want and function how I want during the day without having to be glued to the toilet.

15 May 2013

I ate a can of tomato bisque soup with rice in it and some Famous Amos cookies at noon.  It's now 2:30 and my stomach is rumbling and I've had to go to the washroom twice.  My rumbling stomach is hurting.  I now weigh 140 lbs.  I was 147 lbs when I started being very bothered by the UC.  It's rather interesting how the food goes in solid and comes out a couple of hours later as a dark liquid.

14 May 2013

I went for a run tonight.  I was feeling quite well since I hadn't eaten for 24 hours.  around 3 I had two slices of thin crust hawaiian pizza and something else rather small.  During the run at first my stomach hurt, but then I got over it.  We then stopped for a bit in the run (I ran with a friend) and after that I was felt a burning in my stomach and kept going then I felt like I was going to crap myself.  I made it back to my friend's house and she drove me the last two blocks home.  It felt so good to go out and exercise though.  It was worth the risk.

6 May 2013

I am sick.  I'm sick all day.  In between bathroom trips I'm exhausted.  My arms feel so tired it's a chore to raise them to the laptop to type.  At least I haven't lost too much weight yet.  I've lost about four pounds.  We have no health insurance, so I can't go to the doctor.  Who cares anyway, the doctor will just prescribe medication which will make me sick.  I have to try to get over this myself.  If it gets really bad and I start losing weight seriously, I'll take the medication, which will make me fat, but I'll take it anyway. Prednisone is horrible.  I'm sure that's what they'll give me.  I'm trying to get better on my own.  I'm trying to relax, but that isn't working very well.

4 May 2013

I am so tired all the time.  I always need an afternoon nap or I have to lie down.  I would fall asleep if I didn't have so many family members making noise, but I am so tired though.  Still can't eat very well, but I do eat.  Then I just feel sick afterwards.  I've been feeling nauseous as well off and on.  Right now I want to go to sleep very badly, but my daughter has a friend over.  I had some fried rice, a couple of chicken ball things (deep fried) and beans.  That ought to send the UC into bad spasms, but I have to eat.

2 May 2013

I was so sick of hovering near the toilet at home that I ventured out of the house this chilly morning to go for a run.  It was quite daring as I may not have been near a toilet and that would be horrible.  As it turned out, although my stomach was very sore with each pound of the pavement, I did not crap myself.  I also felt GREAT for having gone out there and exercised.  I wasn't even tired in the slightest.  I considered stopping to give my stomach a break, but I carried on since the distance was short and I didn't have to poop.  When I do get out to exercise, I feel much better.

The Ulcerative Colitis is still quite bad and is annoying and painful.  I am very careful about what I am eating.

25 April 2013

I am on the toilet again.  It started at 2:45 am.  All I ate was some crackers and cheese after 1:30 pm and a small bowl of beans.  That's it all day.  Blood is back in faint traces and pink hues but not clumps of red as earlier.  I am so tired.  I was up the night before all night until 3:00 am.  I have to wake up to get Jacqueline to school and drive Jordan and Camille.  I wake up at 7:00 am.  I am so tired.

I sewed my son's merit badges on a sash and sewed his Boy Scout uniform properly.  I had to rip the troop number badges off and do them again.  It is difficult to get them on straight.  My fingers are so sore.  I started sewing at Noon or one and ended at ten at night.  I will try again to eat nothing tomorrow so I can sleep the next night.

24 April 2013

So after a very rough morning, and not eating anything all day, I felt totally OK.
Then, this afternoon, I ate food.  I now am awake at 1:28 a.m. with very loud rumblings in my tummy and (Pooh Bear words - I have a six-year-old) and I've taken about 30 trips to the toilet since 6:00 p.m. last evening.
I am so sorry I ate, again.
Tomorrow I will try very hard not to.  I need to be far more careful when I eat and what I eat.  It's just difficult when I have to feed everyone else in my family.

22 April 2013

So this morning I was deeply sorry I ate anything yesterday and I swore not to touch a morsel of food today.  I spent the morning and part of the night on the toilet.  My guts felt like they were burning inside me a bit.  I thought I was going to barf for a couple of hours.  I think I felt ill because of the pain.  I had three boiled eggs, crackers and cheese, some chicken and cheese ravioli (about five or six pieces of ravioli) and a scoop of frozen yogurt with 1/2 a banana chopped up in it.  I also ate two little foil-covered Easter-eggs.  For me, that is pigging right out because of the ulcerative colitis.  Today I had two slices of cheese and some crackers.  I'm going to have some peppermint tea and honey.  It's 1:31 p.m.  I don't really feel hungry anyway, so I'm not being tortured.  I'm going to take my vitamins and food supplements with the tea.

It's amazing how I can be so sure I'll never eat again and then there I go and eat.  I just feel fine at times, and then I feel very ill at other times.  I was considering removing my colon this morning, thinking it wouldn't be too bad.  Now it seems crazy to do it because I don't feel as bad.

11 April 2013

Snowstorm today in Moorhead, MN.  I ate some popcorn puffs (they are like soft air puffs from rice), one small bowl of pad thai noodles (rice based noodles) with no meat, only egg, some bean sprouts and sauce, and some ginger candy.  This made me poop blood.  My stomach always hurts, but not too badly.  It's OK.  I would like to go for a run.  I'm feeling brave, like I can make it a round the block without crapping myself.

10 April 2013

I couldn't take it anymore today. Well, I could, but chose not to. I have been eating very carefully since Easter. Easter gave me a flare-up eating all that home made food that was put in front of me. So I lost a couple of pounds which was kind of nice, but I haven't recovered from last year's massive attack. I was up to 147 lbs, which is ok. Ideally I would like to weigh 135 anyway. I guess I'll be there soon, but I don't want to go below that. Starts looking pretty thin and scary below 135. I'm typing this on my phone so I can't see what I'm typing. So after living on bits of cheese, rice puffs and rice crackers with only water or peppermint herbal tea with honey for 13 days, I had some Chinese food from my favorite restaurant for Chinese food (Snap Dragon) and now I feel so sorry I ate. I ate far less than a normal person would have. I'm sitting on the toilet as I type, grateful I made it and didn't go in my pants! I feel remorseful for having been so flagrantly flamboyant as to eat.Hopefully it will be better tomorrow.

Fourth April 2013 Getting Ill Again

So lately I have been feeling ill again.  I tried not to eat yesterday to give my body a rest and ended up eating after 2 p.m. I ate almost as I regularly would.  I was sick from that.  Today I haven't eaten so far and I'm going to try to not eat for a couple of days and take my vitamins and Astaxanthene and other supplements.  I really hope that I don't become too ill.  My joints are aching.  I have been exhausted lately and all I want to do is sleep.  I have a time of being normal between the time I get up (around 6:30 until around 3:00 p.m. and then I'm wiped out.  I still do everything, but my body is so exhausted.  That lasted for about a month or two.  The past two days though, since my stomach started getting worse, I started to realize it's the ulcerative colitis.  However, the past two days I haven't felt exhausted like the last month or two. My joints ache, but not too badly, but if I eat, my stomach has a very difficult time with any kind of food.  Even peppermint tea and honey.  I did feel better cutting off the food yesterday, until I ate again.  I still ate far less than I normally would.  That night my stomach was bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be.  Today my stomach is doing quite well after going to the washroom about five times this morning.  I feel my stomach hurts slightly and I wouldn't touch it too hard, but other than that, I am doing way better than the past two days.  Then again, I haven't eaten anything today.  I was somewhat hungry this morning, but when I become ill with colitis I don't feel as hungry.  The more sick I become, the less hungry I feel.  The less I eat, the better my stomach feels.