12 October 2013

Feel horrible today.  My butt hurts so much from crapping so much.  I feel like I crapped my body weight.  I barely ate anything so it must be crap from a couple of days.  My body is also aching TERRIBLY all over.  I wish I could cry to just let it all out, but it doesn't hurt enough to cry.  Just an unyielding ache that never ends.  I just want to sleep all the time and I am so exhausted.  I bought all the supplements I ran out of and I'm starting to take them again.  I just fantasize about sleeping all day.

I got a good job even though I was hesitant to apply since I would just have to quit anyway, but I don't know if I can do it sometimes.  It is pretty good pay and I'll just increase in pay as time goes by if I can handle it.  It is pretty physical, which normally I would appreciate rather than sitting at a desk all day.  Sitting at a desk is fine if you can get up whenever you choose, but sitting at a desk for hours and not being able to get up because you have so much work to do is not OK.  Moving all the time though is exhausting when your body aches anyway.  I thought I might cry at work, but I didn't.  Tough as nails I am :).