15 December 2016

I am so tired. It is such a struggle to do anything. Sleep is such a huge fantasy of mine. If I sit still I start to fall asleep regardless of what time it is. My intestines have been doing better the last little while. I have to race to the washroom, but in general, better than usual. I just about missed work last week, but I made it through.

11 December 2016

I am so exhausted. I"m exhausted all the time.

Here's an article which indicates that I am not the only one:

http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/ulcerative-colitis-treatment-management/colitis-causing-fatigue/

24 November 2016

So sick I was scared. I'm all alone right now. I was thinking, if I die, that's it. I will be dead for a while and no one will know. That's what I feel like a lot when I go to the washroom. I guess it's bad I'm not taking drugs, but everyone I know who takes them is sicker than me and has missed significantly more work. Toughing it out has seemed to be the healthier option. I have no allergic reaction to medications because I am not taking any. I can feel when I eat the wrong things and I know what to avoid.

22 November 2016

I feel mildly like puking and I always have to use the washroom urgently and I also feel all over sick. I don't know a better word to describe the all over sick feeling. I am so exhausted it's incredible. I force myself to do things though. I clean the laundry, my room, cook and work full time. I really want to write a book, but it's so time-consuming in addition to all other responsibilities. The aching joints haven't been as bad lately at least.

20 November 2016

I was visiting someone and I became very ill. My entire body started sweating profusely. I thought I was going to vomit and the vomit feeling wouldn't go away. I thought I had to go to the washroom really badly but when I tried to use it nothing happened. the person I was with drove me home. I am still very nauseous now. I feel somewhat like I have a headache. I almost feel I have to go to the washroom again, but it won't work.

13 November 2016

I googled what foods to eat to get more magnesium in my body as this is supposed to help with joint pain. This is what I got: High magnesium foods include dark leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fish, beans, whole grains, avocados, yogurt, bananas, dried fruit, dark chocolate, and more.

All these foods cause terrible stomach issues except avocados and bananas. I'm allergic to dark chocolate. I guess I can take magnesium pills and it seems from reading the internet (questionable source) that if I take too much I'll just poop it out. Like I don't poop enough. 

My joints hurt so badly I can't do anything except sit here. I try to do stuff anyway, and I can and I do. I do things more than most people, but I used to do way more than that even before this joint problem.

11 November 2016

Wow, I'm feeling sick. It's just a constant level of yuck. Hovering on nausea but not quite there, hovering on headache, but not quite there, exhausted but not totally. Basically I need to lie down. My stomach is distended but not too badly. This morning it hurt pretty badly and all morning it hurt quite a bit. I went home from work. I wish I could get things done, but I am just lying here. I guess that's why one would go home. Still though. I feel like my time is being wasted. I'm so tired though.

5 November 2016

I would like to enjoy just living without stomach pain. A guy at work went home because he had diarrhea. He went to the bathroom six times that morning. He's a pretty tough guy. He's a hard worker. I have gone to the washroom 30 - 35 times per day at work. Dripping sweat trying to keep up with my work load and exceeding the work load required while suffering horrible stomach pain and a fever of over 100. This is how I live every day. I don't think people have a clue of what this is like. I've only gone home twice since working at Costco in three years for stomach pain and crapping and suffered through it almost every day.

I have missed a week of work the second year I worked there because I had to go to Mayo Clinic for my UC, and now I have FMLA (which means I can miss work for this cause without it going on my sick days), but I don't know how I am going to keep going in the next fifteen years. I really should try to be a Supervisor or Manager, but I don't want the time taken from my daughter. I am in a fix and I don't know what to do.

On top of that, I have knee pain from the military which is exacerbated by this job, feet pain, hand pain and horrible hip pain from work (running on a concrete floor for over eight hours per day). I really have to figure this out.

27 October 2016

I have to RACE to the washroom every time I need to poop, barely making it and a lot of times. I have to do the poo poo dance and can barely undo my pants fast enough and get them down fast enough to sit on the toilet. Periodically my stomach hurts so much I can barely stand up. Sometimes it is OK though.

16 September 2016

Missed the toilet AGAIN today. Very annoying. At least I was right beside it again.

12 September 2016

Missed the toilet tonight. Poop came out like pee and hit the edge of the toilet, my underwear, the floor and somehow, around the toilet in sprays. What a pain to clean. I had a bagel and cream cheese with fruit and yogurt for breakfast because work provided it for free. I had a small crab apple when I got home and a piece of apple cake. I also had a hot chocolate that a fellow co-worker bought me at work. He bought it to re-pay me for driving him to the convenience store. My stomach is still bubbling.

5 September 2016

This is very annoying. I am on the toilet at one in the morning and I have been getting up every hour to crap. This last session I have not been able to return to sleep for about an hour straight though. I would very much like to sleep. I think it was the chicken nuggets, because up until I ate them, I was doing fine with no urge to go at all. I stopped taking the medication the doctor prescribed to me and I have been better since then, but I can't eat meat at all, not even chicken nuggets.  The medication the doctor gave me is called Budesonide EC 3 MG Capsules. I am supposed to take three of these per day.

1 September 2016

I found out that the doctor I am seeing his absolutely HORRIBLE according to a co-worker who says he just about died following her advise and had to go to Mayo Clinic. I've been to Mayo before, but I was trying to stay here. I am very afraid of my doctor now. I didn't trust her or her nurses to begin with. This tops it off.

There are chunks of blood coming out of me now since I started the medication my doctor (the horrible one) asked me to take. I told her I have a bad reaction to all the medication and she said that she doesn't know that and that she doesn't have my medical records. I wish I could just never go to the doctor again. My vein is still store from the last iron infusion three days ago.

30 August 2016

My last iron infusion a couple of days ago I don't know what happened. It hurt somewhat. The next day it hurt worse. The day after (today) it hurts a great deal and my vein is hard. If I put my arm down, it hurts. If I move my arm, or twist my arm, it hurts my arm. It's weird how much my arm hurts. It shouldn't hurt that much from on iron infusion. I'm also taking some medication (three pills a day) that they want me to try.

I think the iron infusion therapy is actually getting more iron in my body. I feel less tired, so I must me getting some iron.

29 August 2016

I just had the last shot of my first round of iron infusion sessions. The doctor thinks I'll need another session. In two weeks I go to get labs done to check how my hemoglobin is and then I'll know for sure if I'll need another session of iron infusion.

My forearm on my left arm is where I had the shot today. It is sore to the point where I don't want my arm to touch anything. If I move my arm it hurts as well. My UC is just as bad though.

19 July 2016

The doctor made an appointment for the Second of August. I can't believe the doctor doesn't see any more urgency than getting me in sooner. I heard from my husband that this doctor was really good. When I dropped off the paperwork from Mayo Clinic the receptionist said, "You may as well take a seat, it'll be a while." After a couple of minutes I asked her if I could just drop it off on the desk and informed her that I didn't need anything. Exasperated, she responded, "I guess so!" I'm a bit shaken in terms of my trust in the competency of the establishment I am thinking about going to.

I am so exhausted doing everything.

25 August 2016

My blood is so low that I have to have iron infusion shots. Apparently I can't produce my own iron because I've reached such a low level. I have some medication I am going to try. I pick it up tomorrow at work since we have a pharmacy there. It will take three to six months of taking the medication before I can really know if it is going to work or not. Everywhere I have had the needle go in for the shots I have a bruise. It looks like I am a drugee now. Every second day for five shots I have to take that iron infusion, then I get my blood tested again. My doctor thinks I will have to have another round of shots after this because my blood is so low in order to bring it up again.

15 August 2016

I had a colonoscopy at a private doctor on 11th August 2016. The nurse gave me Demerol (which had very little effect in making me unaware of my surroundings). My mom said she put it in my arm too fast when I described what I felt when she injected it into the IV. My vein was burning from my antecubital fossa up to above my bicep. When it hit my brain and body I felt very weird. I can't describe it. I don't remember that ever happening before because I've had Demerol before. The room was spinning and I started shaking.

I felt every single thing during the colonoscopy. Why give me the Demerol?

The Ducolax gave me an Ulcerative Colitis attack. The doctor told me I was wrong and the UC was not caused by the Ducolax. So whatever. I don't believe her at all.

Today I had an iron infusion. I may have to get plenty of these before I start feeling better. Right now I am exhausted all the time. My body aches if I eat the wrong thing and I have a fever if I eat the wrong thing.

27 July 2016

Went to the emergency room on Monday because I was so ill Sunday. I couldn't take it. Sunday my fever was 102 Fahrenheit. My body was horribly aching. To make a long story short, I got prednisone and now it's like I am not even ill. Amazing as always. It will tide me over until I have to see the Gastroenterologist on August Second.

14 July 2016

So incredibly exhausted tired that I cannot sleep. My bones ache. I wish I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. Getting up to poop is like running a marathon in my head - getting up the gusto to do it that is, unless it's urgent, which happens a lot, then I just do it.

I got a hold of Mayo Clinic and they are mailing my records over to my house so I can deliver them to this new Ulcerative Colitis natural healing doctor I heard about. David told me about her. She sounds like she may have an idea with it comes to UC unlike my experience has been at Sanford. They are going to try to get me in next week. My blood is low enough to need a blood transfusion or very close to needing one. Some days are far worse than others. A couple of days I couldn't stop crying when I felt a wash of exhaustion overwhelm me. The past two days I feel it, but I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't get help for a while, but it'll eventually come, and I seem to be able to better handle things with this mind set.

Still pooping when I eat. Liquid poops.

9 July 2016

I went to the walk-in clinic. I don't have a family practitioner and this complicates things quite a bit. I need to have a doctor for referral and I don't have one. The tests they did at the walk-in clinic indicated that my hemoglobin level was at 8. It's supposed to be twelve I think. Since I know nothing of medical things (I was a medical writer but on studies and I'm familiar with that terminology but not these things).

The walk-in clinic results said that I am almost to the point where I need a blood transfusion. I'm exhausted, I have very little energy. When I walk a small distance I have to sit down. I am trying to keep going at my job and my side job. I'm so tired though. When I get up I'm dizzy. My heart thumps weird as well.

There's an awesome doctor here who is going to accept me. It will be at least a week before I can get in to see her though. So I have to last at least that long. I could sleep all day.

4 July 2016

I had chips today with a hot dog. I spent all day at the beach from 9:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. I had no problems until after I ate chips and the hot dog. It was a sausage actually. I just about crapped myself and ran to the washroom and made it. I kept doing that once I arrived home. David took my daughter until eight. They are coming back for fireworks. There are a few other people coming as well for fireworks. I think they'll be mostly outside.

The entire morning I was OK. I am definitely better though. Despite what the situation came to today. I still feel better overall. This evening I don't, but during the day I did.

2 July 2016

I think I'm doing better. I don't have a fever. I have an appetite. I ate today. Six little Brazil Cheese Buns and a Sausage that I baked in the oven. I also had strawberries and rhubarb boiled with some sugar and oatmeal. I had juice as well. Then I had a mango. I crapped so much at one time in the evening that it seemed as if I crapped my entire insides out. It was liquid, but there was a bit of texture to it. It's difficult to tell if there's blood in it as I'm having my period as well, but I think I'm not bleeding very much out my butt anymore. So, I just reduced my food intake and try to take vitamin supplements basically. I didn't watch what I ate today, but if I had, I bet it would be much better if I did watch it.

26 June 2016

So I was thinking to myself how to get rid of the hemorrhoid without surgery. I don't have time for surgery (maybe some day) and I don't want to pay for it. I started thinking today of Vicks Vap o Rub. I love the smell of that stuff. I was afraid to just try it, so I googled it and a lot of people said that it worked very well. Some said it burned like crazy. So, It tried it. Yes. It burns pretty bad, but the pain is not worse than the hemorrhoid itself and yet there's a chance it could get better.

My Ulcerative Colitis isn't better yet. My stomach hurts a lot but I ate today. I had some roast beef (worst thing for me.. well, one of them) potatoes and gravy and then in the evening I had some cream of chicken soup. Quite small amounts were consumed, but I ate it and I haven't reacted too terribly badly yet.

My poop for the last week has consisted of a stream of total black pee out my butt. Sometimes there's a pinch of texture in there, but mostly black pee. It smells like a person who has been dead for a couple of weeks or however long it takes and there body is swollen with rotted liquid and then someone comes around and pokes it with a stick and rotten fester pops forth with a stench so powerful starving wild animals wouldn't touch it. Right now my butt smells like Vicks Vap O Rub though.

25 June 2016

Well, the hemorrhoid was so painful today at work I just about passed out. I was sent out to pick up garbage in the sweltering humidity and it was about 90 F. I was absolutely soaked in sweat in about fifteen minutes. At the end of forty-five minutes, I couldn't see because sweat was pouring off my face and into my eyes. It stung as well. Every time I bent over to pick up garbage, the hemorrhoid squeezed and I could barely stand the pain. I had to do it over and over again to pick up garbage. I began to become really dizzy, and since I could scarcely see anyway and it was close to my normal break time I went inside. My co-workers said I was very white and asked me if I was OK. I said I'm just going to cool off in the cooler (the one we store things in) for a couple of minutes. I could only stand it in there for what seemed like five minutes. I began shivering. I was still wet with sweat though. I took my break then began helping at the front end back-floating. My manager, well one of them, asked me how the garbage picking was going, so I supposed she was annoyed. I told her I was soaked in sweat so I came in. The other manager said I did the right thing. So that saved me at least.

Anyway, the hemorrhoid was hurting terribly as well. I also had to continue to go to the washroom which made me look bad at work and also aggravated the hemorrhoid. To make a long story short, when I got up after finally getting to sit down at seven at night there was some blood there and at the back of my jeans. I am hoping it seeped out of the hemorrhoid. It was still very painful though and so I had a hot bath and tried to cut it with my box cutters to have the inside of it leak out and I could heal. Well, now I have a flap of skin there and nothing came out. I put Melaleuca oil on it. I hope that's ok because it burns like crazy. Very very painful. It's still swollen out of my but and I can't imagine working like this tomorrow, but I'll have to.

It doesn't help that I have to poop every hour.

23 June 2016

I had two taste samples at work (Costco) and two eggs for dinner and a tiny amount of frozen yogurt at Tutti Frutti and two pieces of red liquorice. That's it. All day. I feel no hunger though. Everyone else was eating, I know I'm supposed to, and I like the taste. Anyway, from last night's shepherd's pie I had very bad bowls this morning and had to go to the washroom about 15 times at work. So my hemorrhoids returned. A huge painful engorged piece off flesh protruding out of my butt. It is so painful that moving hurts it and standing still hurts it. I have to poop about 40 + times per day and each time I'm terrified of the pain that is going to come and the hemorrhoid becomes larger. It feels like it is smaller than a golf ball and much bigger than a walnut. My stomach hurts too. I think that there may be less blood though. I'm so scared of the hemorrhoid. It's so painful and weird.

21 June 2016

My stomach took a full on lunch at Toscana's. Well, I ate the soup, then had a few bites of the sandwich or whatever it was... it was kind of like a burrito with chicken and peppers and a chipole sauce. At night I ate the rest of the sandwich. I shouldn't have and my stomach is in turmoil and I'm afraid to walk any distance from a toilet, but I ate it!!

20 June 2016

Well, I thought I was doing well. I tried to eat a meal a couple of days ago and the repercussions were not too bad. I only went to the washroom about twenty times afterwards and it never really ended. So then I ate a meal again the next day. Same result. The blood wasn't too bad. Today I ate a bowl of mashed potatoes since the infinitely intelligent doctors have that listed as one of the foods to eat if you have UC. The result was a bowl full of clotted and loose blood flooding the bowl, so I was too bold with the food thing. I lost another pound as well. Now I'm 139 lbs. I'm dizzy when I stand. I also still owe the doctor money ($168.00). There's change as well, but I'm not sure how much change. I just paid them $50.00 last month. My stomach always hurts. If I move, it hurts and a wave of sickness overwhelms me. It's kind of like when you are about to have a bought of diarrhea and you get that wave of nausea and overwhelming illness, then you poop and it all comes out and you feel better. I actually run a fever as well. My fever is usually 101.2.

14 June 2016

Today was better than yesterday. My stomach hurt, but I didn't have a fever all day I think. My muscles feel weak and it's difficult to work, but I haven't had to urgently poop all day until I came home. My stomach hurts, but not as bad. It wasn't until after I had a second chocolate milk after work and a bag of Funions that my stomach started to broil. I thought the Funions would be OK since there's very little nutritional value in them. There's probably oil though. I think it was the chocolate milk that was bad too, but that stuff is good for replenishing nourishment which is what I need. That is all I ate today. I drank some water as well. There's less blood.

Ok, it's evening now. Because I was feeling so healthy I ate two breaded chicken breasts with bar-b-Q sauce and a small bowl of musilix. Now I feel totally ill. I have to use the washroom constantly. I didn't check for blood. My current temperature is 101.2 degrees Fahrenheit. I'm worried about being able to handle work tomorrow. At least today went well and I felt good the entire time. I was exhausted, but my stomach didn't hurt as bad.

13 June 2016

I have a temperature of 101.2 since yesterday when I took it; Possibly longer, but I just took it yesterday for the first time. Moving hurts my stomach. I drank a chocolate milk, 150 calories and a large pink lemonade at Taco Bell which tasted horrible. I also had water. that's all I've been able to take in all day. It's now 4:33 p.m. in the afternoon. I don't want to eat because I want to go to work tomorrow. I can't believe I haven't crapped everything I've ingested out of me. I've gone to the bathroom about 25 times. What could possibly be left to poop out?

My skin feels cold frequently and I'm cold when other people aren't. It is a good thing it is in the 80s all week. I have a pounding headache. I think that's from lack of blood. It's bearable though. I took two Ibuprofen even though I don't really like taking medication. I need to get to work. I have Thursday and Friday off, then Saturday and Sunday. I have four days to try to make myself better. I can't stand doing this. Like work isn't difficult enough without wondering if you'll pass out while working. I stock shelves for five hours. After that the tasks are variable. Today I pulled weeds for three hours after stocking shelves. It was over 80 degrees Fahrenheit out. I was dizzy every time I stood up and thought I'd poop myself almost constantly. I have two more years at this job though to make over $50,000.00/year. That's my goal. Last two more years. Even if I were to become fabulously wealthy somehow before then, I want to make it to five years. Come on Body! You can do it!!

12 June 2016

I'm so sick. Puke is lurking just around the corner all the time. That awful sick feeling just before an explosion of terrible diarrhea Is a constant that simply fluctuates in intensity. I start sweating at the slightest exertion. My skin surface feels cold and I'm exhausted all the time. Actually crapping is the greatest part because there's a few moments of hope where I think I might just get better. Then it comes back in waves. All I want is to feel OK and to eat with no issues. I don't even know how I am going to be able to go to work tomorrow. It seems at this point that it will be impossible. We'll see though. Perhaps I'll be able to pull it off and all next week off and I'll be able to work like normal.

11 June 2016

I had some yogurt, because it's supposed to be good because of probiotics. It made me so sick I felt like puking for over a day. I was panicking because I was weak and so sick. I'm dripping with sweat from the slightest exertions. I mean, I guess it IS over 80 degrees Fahrenheit but even in the air-conditioned house I feel completely exhausted from anything I do regardless of how little the effort is. Typing this is an effort, but I'm not tired. I have NO IDEA how I'm going to do my job on Monday socking shelves at Costco. Very physically demanding. I'll have to figure it out though. The problem is eating anything. ANYTHING. These blogs and websites I go to that suggest what to eat are horrendously inaccurate. Almonds were on the list of what to eat... are they kidding??! That's one of the absolute worst things to eat. If I'm 100% healthy and eat almonds, that gives me an attack and I could possibly miss work for the day. It's crazy that they have that on their website. And yogurt is another one. NO. NO yogurt. Not in the middle of an attack anyway. Perhaps afterwards. There's way too much protein in it. Anything with protein makes my intestines crazy. The toilet bowl is filled with blood after I poop. Protein AND fiber are very pain-inducing combinations. Like almonds, or most nuts. Applesauce is another one on the list. Too much fiber. NO.

Here's what I can eat in the middle of an attack: Lipton Soup made with a lot of water and water. Maybe Koolaid... never tried it. Anything without nutrients in it seems to be OK. Some teas seem to be OK.

My skin feels cold right now even when I'm hot. I have a slight headache and I feel somewhat off balance even when I'm lying down. I just had my period and I bleed like I'm hemorrhaging when I have it. On top of that, for over a week before that and a week after ever time I pooped the toilet bowl was full of blood. I am quite sure I am very low in blood and that is what is causing the headache and off balance feeling. I find it a bit difficult to concentrate as well. I must be very low in blood. I am usually fatigued, but this time it is very bad. It is difficult to smile at work and I am supposed to.

I had a potato last week or two weeks ago. That was awful for my body. The websites all say potatoes are good for you when you have UC. I can't figure out who writes these websites. They have no clue, yet write this stuff like they know. They have a degree and think because they have a degree they can tell us what to do and what to eat. They really need to start listening to patients who experience the illness or they are going to kill people. "They" are the experts that write these instructions.

Local doctors seem to have no idea what to do either. They don't listen either. Mayo Clinic did. So that's one good thing. yay.

I was 155 lbs two weeks ago and now I'm 140 lbs. If I get to 125 lbs, at that point maybe I'll go to the doctor. I just can't stand them though. The doctor is like a horrifying prison where people get to decide what to do to your body medically and if you argue or try to explain that certain things don't work with your body, YOU are crazy. I told the doctor I was pregnant with my youngest, for example, and the doctor told me I wasn't and when I insisted I was, the doctor told me that I needed to see a psychiatrist. The doctor arranged a D&C for two weeks from the time I saw him. I asked for one more check and the doctor stated that I was, in fact, pregnant. How's that? My daughter would be dead if I had listened to the doctor.

But, they do have all that schooling, so I feel inclined, for my own chances of survival, to consult with them and see what they have to say about whatever is ailing me. I like their opinion. After I get the opinion, if he/she/doctor and I agree with the treatment, I view that as a course of action. I don't view it as a course of action to make an appointment, tell the doctor my symptoms and then do whatever the doctor says regardless of how I feel about it. I was given this body. It is up to me to take care of it the best I know how. I also don't view my body as simply a body of flesh and bones. I view myself as a spiritual person as well. My spirit is a major part of my body and my conduct in this life involves all aspects of my person-hood. This doctor I may see has no idea what my spirit consists of in relation to my body. He/she has no right to make decisions concerning me. The doctor has a right to give opinions on what he/she thinks I should do and needs to respect that opinion.

Anyway, I am thinking about this situation because I may have to see a doctor soon. It's about fifteen pounds away.

7th June 2016

My stomach is a boiling pit of pain and burning. I am up for work. I have to be there by 5 a.m. and it is a twenty minute drive. It's 3:07 a.m. right now. I'm going to get in the tub. I've been up every hour since I went to bed at ten p.m. I've been up constantly since 3:50 a.m. sitting on the toilet.

I didn't eat very much most of yesterday. I thought it would be OK to eat a potato since the doctors (who usually don't know anything about UC) suggested potato and applesauce and rice as the foods that are OK to eat). Once again, they are dead wrong. They know very little about this disease. Applesauce is just as bad as eating a chocolate bar or cereal with whole grain or anything of the sort. It makes no difference what I eat. It all hurts. Meat is the worst followed by anything with fiber, followed by ANY fruit or vegetable, followed by anything with protein in it followed by... don't know. When it gets really bad, chewing gum hurts it. Aspartame or sucrolose, even the tiny amount that is in gum is very awful. I think Stevia is OK. Not sure.

Lipton soup with no real chicken in it can be digested with little disturbance. The powdered kind that comes in a package that is mostly water with some flavor.

I can't write more. I am off the toilet and in the tub. I have to get ready for work.

13 May 2016

Had meatballs for dinner last night. Had to go home sick today from work. I went to work for five hours, but basically exhausted the entire time. Couldn't do it. Shaky and weak now. Blood and crap in the toilet.

11 May 2016

Thought I'd be ok since I was doing well the past two days. As it turns out, I acted a little prematurely. I'm still not that bad, meaning as bad as I know it could be, but I am scared to leave the house to take my daughter to piano lessons. She's sick anyway, or so she says, but I'm making her go to piano. She missed last week and we're paying for these lessons. She also enjoys piano quite a bit. She practiced an hour yesterday and over an hour today, even though she claimed she was sick and missed school. David let her miss school. She stayed home with him.

She doesn't have a fever or anything. There are chunks of blood coming from me.

9 May 2016

I felt pretty good today besides the morning. I wasn't running a fever. Past couple of days it was around 99, so not, I guess, officially a fever, but elevated temperature anyway. My body aches a lot and I'm exhausted, but I only had washroom issues during the night, but could sleep most of it, and in the morning until around 8:30 a.m.

I just ate food again: rice with cinnamon, brown sugar and raisins. I also had some Ferrero Rocher chocolates. I had to eat them. It was a Mother's Day gift. Had to show my appreciation. Anyway, that's it. I hope I can handle it well and work feels ok tomorrow. I don't want to feel sick tomorrow and I want to go to the washroom like a normal person and only once.

7 May 2016

Ate at a dinner put on for Mother's Day at church. I'm paying for it now. My stomach is in turmoil, or more accurately, my intestines, more specifically, my large intestine. I've gone to the washroom about thirty-five times today. Just guessing how many. At least I've been able to sleep at night for the  most part, so I know it isn't that bad yet, even though I'm pooping blood. The toilet bowl isn't totally full of blood, just comes out with the poop at a regular rate. I had a piece of chicken, a mouthful of potatoes, small piece of chocolate cake with no icing and drank hot chocolate and an aloe boba tea. That's all I had all day + some water. I drank about six glasses of water. In order to not have intestine problems I usually have to take only vitamin supplements, herbs, water and don't eat a thing for about a week. It's great for losing weight. Then when I feel up to it, depending on my reaction to food I slowly eat little bits of food and see how my body handles it.

Right now I'm in a bad way, but I think it will get better.

6 May 2016

It was a mistake eating dinner. I don't know why I thought I could do it. I'm not at my worst though, I've experienced much more horrible consequences to eating food than this. I was going to go for a run today since I'm doing the marathon, but changed my mind. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. This way, I'll eat nothing, but drink, then I'll be able to get some practice in. That way I won't die out there totally, and I'll have a bit of endurance built up. It's only six miles.

4th May 2016

Pee'd out my butt blood and poop more than went in. I don't understand how more liquid can leave than enters my body. I pooped liquid blood/poop about 30 times today and it's only 3:09 p.m. I didn't eat all day until 1:15 when I had a few samples at Costco where I work. 1:30 I got off work and then ate a bowl of these bread stick things with Greek Yogurt ranch dressing (one container 80 calories). I had about four hot chocolates though and four glasses of water or more.

Felt quite ill at work and just about didn't make it to the toilet every time I went. Feeling exhausted, but I have a lot to do. I have two more days to work.

May 2, 2016

Crapping blood again. I'm scared about work. I hope it doesn't get too bad and is just a slight flare and goes away. I panic when I think about it, afraid that I'm going to be too ill to work. Today at work I just about had to leave my post at the door. I felt waves of illness a few times, but I made it through.

20 January 2016

I'm almost like a normal person now. My stomach almost always hurts, but besides that, I poop almost normally. I am extremely careful about what I eat, but I am not incapacitated by pooping or cramps after eating.