24th March 2017

I had four weeks off from Costco. Winter Leave. I was still needing a nap every two hours but only got a nap once per day as I was trying to accomplish things like clean, go through my 9-year-old's room, the usual mother things.

I have been back at work for three days now. It's incredible that I am able to accomplish the things I do. I'm thoroughly exhausted. Every person I talk to has been extremely ignorant regarding their knowledge about Ulcerative Colitis. I'm talking about the health care providers I've consulting since being diagnosed with this disease in 2009 I think it was. The only people that seem to know what they are talking about are the people at Mayo Clinic. Thank goodness an establishment exists which is capable of managing and treating this disease. I should move down there simply for the opporunity to surround myself with people who understand what I'm saying and who help me treat this disease when it becomes terrible.

The most alarming part about trying to see a health care provider for this disease is their total disregard for what I am trying to tell them. I'm so tired. I would just like to eat something without fear and work without pain.

8 March 2017

I've been resting for over a week now. Just resting. No work at all. I feel much better. My bowls are still subject to the same reactions from eating, however my fatigue has greatly improved. If I do anything too much I am still tired and I have to come home and take a nap, other than that, I am pretty good.

I also need to take a nap even if I do nothing though. If I watch TV, eat, read, then I'm really tired if that takes about three hours. I just have to close my eyes and I have to nap. The feeling like I will cry isn't as bad though. My eyes actually hurt if I stay awake too long, but overall I'm much better. My body aching has reduced greatly. It's excellent. I am starting to feel like maybe I can do something, undertake a project or something.

I have a while to go that I get to relax. I'm going to take full advantage of it.

28 February 2017

Thank goodness I don't work today. I was up all night with horrible stomach pain. I hope I can rest today and that it settles down. Not o my did I have to use the washroom every half hour or more, but I had a great deal of burning pain.

27 February 2017

Always bubbling guts. Never stopping. No rest until I stop eating. So annoying. But hole is going to die. So vulgar yet so necessary to discuss.

I'm so exhausted all the time. Deep bone exhaustion as if I've run marathons for days. I try to do something and I fall asleep if I don't keep moving. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is. I wake up from sleeping all night, get dressed, wash up, then I am ready to sleep again. I make  myself to out and do something, I return after an hour or two and sleep again. I try to stay awake and read or watch TV because I'm too tired to do anything else and I fall asleep doing it.

29 January 2017

My exhaustion is tipping the scales of tolerability. I don't know if I can get up every single day. I am so exhausted always. I crapped myself about ten times this month, but I always wear a pad, so it wasn't a horrible one like I posted a while ago. That's only happened once. I am so tired though. I can't stand it. I fantasize about sleeping when I'm not sleeping and I am worried about the next day every day wondering how I'll do it. I seem to be ok if I don't have to wake up at 3 for work and stock shelves for five hours. When I have time off and laze around, I certainly get better, but who can live like that and how can my body stay healthy if I am a slob? I don't know. This job has helped so much. It makes me move, but it may be too much for me to handle. It is too much for a lot of healthy people, but maybe a lot of people are just lazy. Everything aches.

17 January 2017

Exploding poop today which is so urgent I didn't totally make it twice. The other times I did. Poop and blood exploded all around the toilet in every conceivable white space. I was impressed. How can that even happen? My butt made a noise that I couldn't believe it even made. Usually you always feel it make a noise, such as the usual farting noise or pooping noise. This butt of mine also made a gurgle that I didn't feel. So weird. I feel so bad about the toilet. So gross.

11 January 2017

The joint pain is terrible. I came in from shoveling yesterday and I just about went to the hospital. It was terrible. It became better after a while, but still hurt and the pain never really subsided. I see a doctor on the 13th of February and he'll refer me to a specialist in the field. I also want to see a specialist regarding my bones, my knees, my shoulder and my feet. It could all be linked to my Ulcerative Colitis and the autoimmune condition which I think may spur on arthritis. Still crapping blood and low in iron.