24 March 2012

Still suffering. I decided I would get the operation to remove my colon, but now that I think of it I am too scared again. Ugh. I almost wish I would have a perforated colon so the decision would be made up for me. I am so tired of waking up every night six times a night at the least. One night it was every 20 minutes all night. I've read novels on the toilet. I've tried to figure out how to get food in me. It seems to work with little bits of food. It is difficult to control eating very small amounts. Sometimes I just want to eat a lot. Nuts are really really bad. I like them though. I ate these crackers with a lot of nuts. They made me really ill in terms of pooping and feeling ill. My daughter keeps talking to me while I am typing this so I am just going to log off. My 15-year-old daughter.

26 February 2012

I was pretty good today, but I didn't eat all day until late in the evening. So the whole day I ate nothing. Besides this evening, the last I ate was yesterday at one p.m. After I ate this evening I started having issues. There's now a lot of blood, but sometimes there isn't any. I am not sure what to do for a living now. Whatever it is, I have to be able to use the washroom every 1/2 hour at least. Sometimes more often, sometimes less often. I joined a site called Ihaveuc which is quite informative and helpful. I joined it a while ago. I may have already posted this. I see the surgeon on the 15th of March about removing my colon. I am going to try everything I can to not have it removed.

24 February 2012

I somewhat seem better outside of violent bouts of needing to poop all day and night. In between though I can eat and drink anything. I am trying to eat mainly healthy though. I can go for a couple of hours without pooping. I have

A Bit Worse

I bought the wrong kind of supplements I think. They are still Spirunilla and Astaxaxanthan (spelling is probably wrong) but different brands. Now I'm on the toilet all the time again and there is some more blood, but not too much. I'm up at least 7 or 8 times a night. I go all day as well. I'm trying to choke down the Aloe juice, but yuck. It is so gross.

Ate a Meal

I had an omlet (almost the entire thing) at IHOP today. I had one and a half pancakes and some fries (not too many) and some hot chocolate. I thought I'd puke afterwards and it has been ten hours since eating lunch and I still feel so full I feel like puking. I haven't puked, I just feel that full. It was really hard on my bowls. So far, not too hard though. I had to lie down for a while because I was exhausted and my bones were aching. I drank a bit of water, but I can barely drink anything because I am so full. My stomach hurts from fullness. I had a spinach, cheese and mushroom omlette with onions. It is all I ate all day, so it is weird that I should be so full I'm thinking. Or maybe I am so full because I usually don't eat very much.

Getting Better

I seem to be getting better. It is so gradual that I can barely tell, but I think I am. Last night I almost had a poop. Paste came out, so that's pretty close. Better than total liquid anyway. The supplements seem to be working. I am not better yet, but way better than I used to be. I think the Aloe Vera juice is working. That is fabulous. It is gross to drink though, very very gross. I almost can't stand it. I only drink it mixed with banana and blueberries with a chocolate protein mix. None of that covers up the stench. Gross.

I was pretty good today until I tried to eat something around noon. My muscles are sooooo sore from the personal training session. I could barely walk down stairs yesterday and today my legs are still sore. When Jacqueline tries to crawl on my lap I yelp if she touches my muscles. So, I must be more out of shape than I thought. I tried to drink the Aloe today. I mixed it in with a blueberry/banana/coconut juice/Attain shake. It was STILL gagging disgusting. I could smell it through the other scents. I can't imagine making myself drink that putrid stuff every day, but I had better if it has a hope of making me feel better. This diet would be great for me even if I wasn't ill. I have to go out to dinner with a friend tonight at 7. I can't imagine what I am going to order to eat that will be acceptable to my body. Perhaps I should just order a juicy cheeseburger and let the illness come. We'll see. I could order a normal meal and then box it and give it to David to have for lunch, but the problem is that it isn't a work day tomorrow as today is Friday. After the dinner I am going to my friend's house as I haven't been there yet. I have never seen it and she's been living there for about three years. I never did see her first house which was a duplex. I kept meaning to, but Jacqueline was so small and I barely ever saw her so I didn't want to leave her to see someone's house. Anyway, the issue is, is that if I eat something substantial for dinner and then go to her house, I will have to explode crap at her house and that would be quite disgusting for her family. I am not sure if I want to do that. I really have to see her house though, so maybe I will just try really hard not to eat anything. I'll just have a hot chocolate or something. I don't actually like pop anymore. It tastes way too sugary now that I am not used to it anymore. I wish I could get my children to see how bad it is. They don't really drink that much pop anyway, but I wish they would drink less.