24 November 2016

So sick I was scared. I'm all alone right now. I was thinking, if I die, that's it. I will be dead for a while and no one will know. That's what I feel like a lot when I go to the washroom. I guess it's bad I'm not taking drugs, but everyone I know who takes them is sicker than me and has missed significantly more work. Toughing it out has seemed to be the healthier option. I have no allergic reaction to medications because I am not taking any. I can feel when I eat the wrong things and I know what to avoid.

22 November 2016

I feel mildly like puking and I always have to use the washroom urgently and I also feel all over sick. I don't know a better word to describe the all over sick feeling. I am so exhausted it's incredible. I force myself to do things though. I clean the laundry, my room, cook and work full time. I really want to write a book, but it's so time-consuming in addition to all other responsibilities. The aching joints haven't been as bad lately at least.

20 November 2016

I was visiting someone and I became very ill. My entire body started sweating profusely. I thought I was going to vomit and the vomit feeling wouldn't go away. I thought I had to go to the washroom really badly but when I tried to use it nothing happened. the person I was with drove me home. I am still very nauseous now. I feel somewhat like I have a headache. I almost feel I have to go to the washroom again, but it won't work.

13 November 2016

I googled what foods to eat to get more magnesium in my body as this is supposed to help with joint pain. This is what I got: High magnesium foods include dark leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fish, beans, whole grains, avocados, yogurt, bananas, dried fruit, dark chocolate, and more.

All these foods cause terrible stomach issues except avocados and bananas. I'm allergic to dark chocolate. I guess I can take magnesium pills and it seems from reading the internet (questionable source) that if I take too much I'll just poop it out. Like I don't poop enough. 

My joints hurt so badly I can't do anything except sit here. I try to do stuff anyway, and I can and I do. I do things more than most people, but I used to do way more than that even before this joint problem.

11 November 2016

Wow, I'm feeling sick. It's just a constant level of yuck. Hovering on nausea but not quite there, hovering on headache, but not quite there, exhausted but not totally. Basically I need to lie down. My stomach is distended but not too badly. This morning it hurt pretty badly and all morning it hurt quite a bit. I went home from work. I wish I could get things done, but I am just lying here. I guess that's why one would go home. Still though. I feel like my time is being wasted. I'm so tired though.

5 November 2016

I would like to enjoy just living without stomach pain. A guy at work went home because he had diarrhea. He went to the bathroom six times that morning. He's a pretty tough guy. He's a hard worker. I have gone to the washroom 30 - 35 times per day at work. Dripping sweat trying to keep up with my work load and exceeding the work load required while suffering horrible stomach pain and a fever of over 100. This is how I live every day. I don't think people have a clue of what this is like. I've only gone home twice since working at Costco in three years for stomach pain and crapping and suffered through it almost every day.

I have missed a week of work the second year I worked there because I had to go to Mayo Clinic for my UC, and now I have FMLA (which means I can miss work for this cause without it going on my sick days), but I don't know how I am going to keep going in the next fifteen years. I really should try to be a Supervisor or Manager, but I don't want the time taken from my daughter. I am in a fix and I don't know what to do.

On top of that, I have knee pain from the military which is exacerbated by this job, feet pain, hand pain and horrible hip pain from work (running on a concrete floor for over eight hours per day). I really have to figure this out.