My five-year-old's birthday party at Chuckie Cheese's

I thought I was doing pretty good today. I didn't eat all day, so maybe that is why. At my youngest's birthday party I thought I could eat since I was feeling quite well. I thought maybe my Ulcerative Colitis was doing well. I had (two slices of rice krispie cake (my daughter's choice of birthday cake) and I didn't have a bad reaction. I got home (had a hot chocolate on the way) and my son heated up some left over pizza from Chuckie Cheese's and I thought I would barf for about two hours after smelling it. Then I had to sit on the toilet for ten minutes and it was full of blood but there was some poop in there. I went to the washroom about five times since 3:30 when I got home. Each time was pretty bad and each time was full of blood and had poop in it. I just had some melted cheese. I guess I'm asking for it. Oh, I had a pretzel when I got home too. It was a small home made pretzel. I feel completely exhausted too. I guess running around all day racing to get things done exhausted me. I try to go to the gym every day but I haven't since Friday. The doctor said exercise is good and the healthier the rest of my body is the better. I don't exercise like I used to, only about 1/2 hour on the tread mill and 1/2 hour of weights and streatching. I don't feel as sick and sometimes I don't even feel sick while I work out. My stomach still hurts, but it isn't too bad. This afternoon I thought I was going to be fine. I didn't even feel sick this afternoon or like I have to go to the washroom at all. It was great. I didn't feel like eating, but for some reason I ate anyway. I guess not eating all day worries me and I feel like I should.

Sick today. I have a bit of a cold or the flu or something. My stomach or bowls, not sure which, is feeling really ill in spurts, and then ok in spurts. I've already went to the washroom 20 times and it's only 3 in the afternoon. My eyes are leaking water from the cold and my bones are still aching. I don't know what they are aching from though, ulcers or having the cold. I am exhausted. I just want to sleep. I have to take my son to the optomitrist, just returned from bringing my daughter to get her US citizenship, we have a work appointment tonight at 6 and then our Home teachers are coming over at 8. Somehow I have to get dinner cooked in there. My daughter has ballet during the evening. She finishes ballet at 9:30 p.m. I told myself I wouldn't eat anything today to give my body a rest, but I ended up eating five or six cookies. They were whole wheat, cranberry, peacan, orange cookies I baked yesterday. I didn't eat anything else all day. I shouldn't have eaten that though.

I am scared to get my colon out. I have to try harder to eat more carefully and maybe there's a chance I can get my colon to calm down and keep it in my body. The thought of a hole in my body and crap falling out if it into a bag for three months and operations to crap through my small intenstine through my bum and close up the hole in my side makes me totally and completely sick. If it happens to other people, I don't really think about it, but if it happens to me, that's a totally different thing.

24th January 2012

I emailed my Dad. He thought it was a good idea that I just do the surgery. My mom said I should try a strict diet first. The doctor said that a strict diet would make no difference. I have heard that it does make a difference though from reading other peoples' blogs online. I feel ill today. I am not sure if it si the flu or if it is the Ulcerative Colitis. I am so tired and my joints ache. I backed off on the prednisone. I went from 40 mg per day to 20.

First Day of Blogging about Ulcerative Colitis

I just went tot he doctor's today. I've been diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis since 2009. I had it since 2008. For a year I had extreme diarrheah with blood in my stool (so from 2008 - 2009). I was working during this time and it was awful. Finally, after plenty of doctors' visits and a colonoscopy, they diagnosed me. As soon as I started taking the medication (prednisone) after the first dose I was better. I took the prednisone for about two months. I was supposed to take Asacol, but it hurt my bones too much. After three months I stopped taking Asacol and took Vitality 6 vitamins from Melaleuca. The vitamins held me over for about two years until October 2011. I stopped taking the vitamins in September of 2011 to try to save some money as the vitamins are around $75 per month. I think that is what started the Ulcerative Colitis attack. In October 2011 my Ulcerative Colitis became so bad I couldn't even drink water. The sickness was very gradual. I could eat, but it upset my stomach, then it got worse and worse to the point where I couldn't eat or drink. My friend said I should really go to the hospital, so I did. I regretted it. The walk-in clinic sent me to the regular hospital to be admitted. I started crying (humiliating) not because of the pain, but because I didn't want my colon taken out. I was scared, not in pain, but I think the people who worked there figured I was in pain. I told them I wasn't, but sometimes it doesn't matter what you say to doctors and nurses. So the doctors put me on IV Solu-Medrol. I was on that for four, almost five days. The entire time there was barely any difference in my colon (I could only eat very little still, but it improved, and I could drink, but basically only water). I got out of there after five days. I really dislike being in the hospital. I was about to just get up and leave regardless of what anyone told me when they let me out.

It has been a couple of months since then. I am still not better. It is now January 23rd. I was admitted to the hospital November 11th, so I guess it is almost two months and my Ulcers are still really bad. I am still on Prednisone. I am cutting back on the Prednisone until I am not taking it anymore, but it will take a while. You have to cut back really slowly on that or it makes you really ill. At the visit to the doctor's today we discussed removing my colon. I can't get in to discuss this with the surgeon until March 15th. There is a shortage of gastroenterology surgeons in this area. It's really horrifying thinking of them removing my colon. I told the doctor (Dr. Spellmen) that I was pretty sure I'd rather die than have my colon removed, but after having a blessing at church I thought maybe I should just live. Which is why I am looking into surgery. It is so sickening to think of having someone cut my colon out. I would have to have a colostomy bag for three months and then they would attach my small intestine to my rectum. They would leave my bum muscles intact, but remove my colon totally. I am horrified as I've mentioned. The doctor said that there are professional athletes with their colons removed. He said I will probably be fine. Plus, I must stay alive for the kids. It's GREAT for losing weight though!! You want to get skinny, get Ulcerative Colitis. I'm at my goal weight of 135 lbs. Woo hooo! One bright side of the situation.

I wanted to try a strict diet first, to see if it will work. I guess I have until March 15th anyway when I see the surgeon. I will be really strict and eat only cream of wheat, water, vitamins and bland, bland things.